The NFL

Posted: December 15, 2014 in Comedy Journal

I got to not watch the game today. I LOVE not watching the game. When I’m back home, I start watching the game, it’s everywhere. I even trick myself into sort of liking it. Then I get away from it, and I realize. I do not.

Not watching football is more rewarding than not smoking. I feel better about it. I dream easier, I breath fresher air, even food’s better.

Today my Facebook feed was all about Johnny Football. All about it! It made me miss police choking people to death.

Escaping football is like dropping a class I don’t want to take.

It’s the organization of fun I hate. The sanctioned debauchery. The perpetual fun machine that burps out merriment.

It’s not about the game of football. It’s about touchdown passes and popular players. I the flags. I hate roughing the passer. I hate it that “fantasy football” doesn’t acknowledge the 5 players on offense who determine how your quarterback throws. I love not having to apologize for not watching it. I miss home a lot. I do not miss the game.

I hope your team won.

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