Like Goddamned Columbus

Posted: December 11, 2014 in Politics

Dear Actors, Politicians, and Billionaires,

I realize you want to be president, and that’s cool, I think you can do it. People seem to hate the guy doing it now, which is weird, the last guy was fucking terrible. I’m not really sure what the president has to do, but I’m pretty sure it has to do with getting elected. In fact, I think it might be mostly that, and I think I can help.

Back The Space Program. Back it hard. America doesn’t believe in anything, and it’s at least partially your fault. Bush 2 set a creepy precedent of only governing for those that elected him, and, though I’m not certain it’s being done by Obama, the system’s in place to perpetuate that narrative, and it’ll work for a long time. This notion of “us” and “them” isn’t going anywhere. People will decide what camp they’re in and effectively stay there while they lie about being in the middle, then they’ll blame the guy in charge for all the problems, and people’s inability to work together as the cause, meanwhile reinforcing the bad behaviors on their end. They don’t try to get people on board, they just try to get people already on their side to rock the boat harder. This system’s Great for politicians. It makes their job seem important. Democrats can say “You need us to undo all this horseshit the pro-war bullshit the Republicans backed,” and Republicans can say, “You need us to stop that guy in the White House who doesn’t care about you guys, real Americans.” Whoever’s side is more upset will win, but it’ll be incrementally edged up every election. Nobody’s ever going to run on the platform of “Give Me Less Power,” and follow through on it.

So, my advice is this: Space. I’ve given up on believing in anybody. I like Obama, but if I listen to my friends back home, he’s a Nazi-Muslim and actually hates my family. That’s not fair, but people sure hate him, and I’m not thrilled. I hate it that we’re a nation still at war. I hate it that we’re a nation where the wealthiest are continually getting wealthier and I hate it that any change in our society seems to need to come from our federal government. I understand the appeal of a smaller government. It’s never going to happen. Politics is a business. It always has been, but it’s reaching levels that need to be addressed. And I think it’s bloated to the fact that an outside candidate could win now, if they pushed the right cause to champion. Like getting off the planet.

I’ve given up on politicians making this world better, and I’m willing to get excited about the next one. The Republicans are more than happy to cash in on this behavior with people slightly dumber than I, and I hope they’ll adapt it to my reading level too. I don’t think the dems are above it either, they like slogans and ideas as much as anyone. I’m willing, in today’s political environment, to become a one issue voter. I’ve realized everybody IS on the same team, or rather, players of the same game. And if I’m going to hate… I know that’s where my focus should be (remember what I said about slogans?) So, if a politician can sincerely convince me that his goal is to get some of us, “Americans” to live on another planet. I’ll support him. I’ll even let it make me stupid. I’ll hate gay marriage, if it doesn’t work in Space, I’ll give up my guns, if it slows us down getting into orbit. This is something I can believe in. I’m not scared, something I feel the Republicans are always pushing on us, and I’m not angry, something I think the Democrats push. I’m probably underinformed and lazy, something that both parties suffer from, but I’m willing to be more attentive, and maybe even willing to work for something important: Like Space.

So, Actors, Politicians, and Billionaires, give us something to excited about, because this place is boring, but we’ve got great ideas.


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