15 Stupid Things I’m Stupid Thankful For. (Stupid 3 of Stupid 5)

Posted: November 27, 2014 in Comedy Journal

1. I’m thankful for my family. My brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews. I came late to my family, the youngest of a big group and I’ve always felt a bit like a backup musician or replacement drummer. Like the party had started before I was there, and I had missed the best parts, but we couldn’t talk about me not being there. We had an image to maintain, and we were all very important to the band. I’m 8 eight years younger than my closest sister, and somewhere under 20 of my oldest. They grew up without me, for the most part: a few lessons about sharing for the youngest, a few about responsibility for the olders, maybe nothing at all if they slipped out a bunch as teens, I wouldn’t know. But they all really liked me, and were good to me, in a sometimes avuncular way (avauntular isn’t a word, but should be.) Being so much older, they started families while I was still a kid. My Niece first, then 4 boys, all very different and charming. They were great additions to the band. I think I played a similar role to them as their folks did to me: nice, honest, and occasionally antagonistic for no reason. It’s Thanksgiving today, and I miss them. Very much. I think I realize the band never really existed. Not properly. It didn’t have a purpose or a job. We all just made music, and when we were together, and when we are together, it’s often very good.

I love you: Trish, Pam, Pete, Charlotte, Celena, Celena, Jackson, Caleb, Gabe, and Alan.

2. I’m thankful for my girlfriend Chelsea Lee. She’s a thunderbolt, and I like her. She’s strong and she’s smart and she’s sweet. She’d be funny if she didn’t apologize for every joke she made. She’s great and she makes me happy and I don’t like writing about it because it feels like I’ll jinx it. I’m glad I have her.

3. A college education. I have something that passes for knowledge and impresses at least a few individuals. I don’t know if it should, but it does, and I’m glad I have one. I tell myself I’d be just as smart if I hadn’t gone, and maybe I would be, but I don’t know. I read a few books that were assigned, and didn’t read more. I faked my way through most of it, but still got through. I am, quite possibly, a testament to the falling walls of academia (note: it took 4 tries for me to spell academia,) but I am so thankful to this abstract idea of achievement. I think what it did more than anything was tell me that smart’s important, not just useful, but important. It taught me that there are people who would rather you figure something out, than put it to work. I’m lucky for it.


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