Class Clown Warfare

Posted: September 11, 2012 in Politics

I feel like the world’s been bitchy the last few weeks. Maybe it’s just transference; I feel bitchy, so I see it in everybody else… or maybe I even seek out bitchy to validate my bitchiness… but regardless of the cause… I’ve certainly felt surrounded by it the last few weeks.

I’m blaming it on the election.

I’m blaming it on Republicans and Democrats. But, mostly Republicans.

I think election years are essentially America getting its period. We’re all edgy and contentious. We continually bring up things that happened years ago, and our arguments don’t really have to make sense. Also, we look fat.

Election years are tough, because, if polling is right, we’re about 50/50. Which means, if two folks are next two you on the train, you hate one of them. Or at least think you’re smarter than him. Or question his patriotism.

I’m probably affected less than most. I already dislike most of you fascists.

This election holds little importance to me. Regardless of what Obama and Romney, or CNN and Fox say, this isn’t; “THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION ANYBODY’S EVER MADE ABOUT ANYTHING!” or “THE CLEAREST CHOICE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL THE UNIVERSE HAS EVER FACED!” I feel tired, and frankly, manipulated. I’m am disheartened that elections have devolved into superbowl advertising. And I don’t trust anyting.

I laugh at the notion of Mitt Romney being billed as a self made man. If my buddy took over her mom’s bakery, I wouldn’t say she was a trailblazer. And if my dad ran for president before I did, I’d mostly call myself unimaginative.

But I don’t hate Romney. I don’t. I think he’s milquetoast, but there are worse things. Truth is, I’m still kind of in a warm “he’s not Bush” afterglow.

Anybody who wants to argue “Obama’s the worst” can fuck right off. I’m fine with hating the president. I really am. He’s done a lot of things that some people don’t care for, but when somebody states “he’s the worst.” I’m done listening.

That was the last guy.

You’re a pest.

You’ve probably never been so angry twenty times this week, and whatever Hollywood movie had the biggest budget this summer was the greatest movie ever made.

Romney’s shifting stances are hard to deal with. He slipped from reasonable to idealogue. and that frightens me; Pro-choice to fetuses for Jesus, and sensibly addressing gun control to “out of my cold dead hands” posturing… but I understand… he REALLY wants to be president. If not… he’s nothing but a billionaire father of 30 with great hair destined to get his own planet in the afterlife. Who could be happy with that?

I won’t pretend for a second that I’m impartial. I’m not. I’ll be voting democrat. I’ll probably be voting democrat for the rest of my life. Probably. Until something better comes along. I’m scared of Republicans. I remember in 2000 everyone kept telling us how Bush and Gore were the same guy. Rage Against the Machine even made that snarky video where they amalgamated the two. Then we got Bush… and he showed us what a Republican really was. A pro-stupid war machine that thought books and compromise were for faggots, who, by the way, ought not be faggots on my watch.

I don’t think Romney’s him… but… I think he could be. Or at least… I’m afraid he could be. The Republicans didn’t do themselves any favors throwing up Palin as a candidate last time around. I don’t buy that vision of America. I don’t want it. I don’t think he does either, but he might have to dance with every suitor who brought him to the ball. And a lot of those will be line-dances.

Paul Ryan frightens me. I don’t think he’s dumb… I think he just believes in free markets the way I believe education and discussion will solve all of our problems. I know I’m wrong… but I still believe it. So much so that it influences me to say and do things based on principle, not reason. (Ayn Rand would vomit… on an orphan.) I think Right Wingers have a romantic notion that heads of industry are enlightened world bearers that will bring us into a golden age. A golden age that, I’m afraid, only exists in thier incorrect assessment of the past. The fact is, I think it’s always been terrible, and we’ve always been dumb, and working with the problems we have now, using the knowledge we’ve learned from the past is our only option… not holding onto outmoded beliefs.

I don’t think Obama does that spectacularly well… but better. At least he’s consistant when it comes to saying it’s going to be tough… not just encouraging us to trust him.

Officially, I’m disappointed. I hate his refusal to slow down the American War Machine. (We’ve been at war about 40% of my life… and I’m getting old.) It’s hard to feel like America is some shining beacon of hope and opportunity, when we can’t seem to quit killing strangers.

I don’t think poor people want us to spend our money killing strangers… they might want to do it… but that’s just because it’s a reliable job, and a surefire way to make sure you belong in the 1%’s America. The wealthiest americans benefit from expansionist endeavors… and… well… if it’s your idea… you pay for it.

Mike Huckabee told me last week that the top 5% of Americans pay 57% of ALL the taxes and expected me to be outraged. I’m not. They have at least 57% of the say in what we do. You want that influence? Pay for it. The rich in this country are getting richer… and it isn’t helping us. I don’t know what “letting them keep their money” will do to improve that.

I won’t rail against them though… I don’t hate the rich. I hate the folks who think they ought to be in charge.

That being said… I don’t think Obama’s government’s terrific. I hate the idea of more government. I spent a weekend interacting with government employees… and they’re the pits. Folks so emotionally detached from their job they literally seem to want it to not work. They seem to delight in a “bad day at the office.” I’m nervouse for America… but I don’t think that’s new. We’ve been here before, and we’ll be alright. We’re Goddamned Americans right?

I think all we really need to do… is quit voting for handsome guys. Quit electing candidates who are attractive or “look political”. It’s a fundamental failure in reasoning to think a handsome person’s going to fix something. Don’t look for handsome people to institute change, the system works for them. Do you think Romney understands real hardship? The tall handsome independently wealthy guy? I don’t. At least Obama’s black… so folks in the south think he’s a criminal. And midwesterners assume he grew up poor. That had to be bothersome… but I’ll bet he could still charm his way out of most of those encounters.

I don’t know what America really needs right now. But I think we can agree a revolutionary isn’t going to be prom king. The only handsome revolutionary I can think of is Che, and he never bathed… so that explains that one.

It’s voting time America. And you should probably go out and try to be heard. If nothing else, to feel better about yourself. I’ll vote for my guy. I won’t, “Hold my nose and vote.” I’ll “Cross my fingers and vote.” Hope for meaningful change that probably won’t come. Maybe next time we’ll be lucky enough to get an ug-o.

  1. That was terrific DJ. Great piece: should be in the New York Times, I really enjoyed it 🙂

    I think I sense the birth of a Libertarian… j/k 🙂

    One thing to consider: the biggest “corporation” of all is the US Government! And they even have their own military and police force to make sure that business goes well. I’m not sure I even understand what that means, but I’ve been stewing on that concept for a little while.

    Bush was the worst, huh? Horrible!

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