4th and Long, best to Pundit

Posted: October 31, 2010 in Politics

I love The Daily Show. Great show. But it ain’t the news; it’s something I watch to entertain myself. Today, I went to the Rally to Restore Sanity. Jon Stewart’s a brilliant comic and a terrific speaker. He’s also a pretty bright guy.

I love it that he scares liars. When Tucker Carlson (a fake newsman) bitches that Jon Stewart’s dishonest because he’s “not a newsman,” I laugh at that angry bowtied douche. Jon consistently admits his position is entertainer. It’s kind of his entire point. Sort of his thesis. “This is fake News.”

I don’t think Tucker gets it.

I’ll Tucker Carlson is the kind of guy who gets angry at strippers, because they trick him.

Tucker-“See that stripper? She wants me.”

No, Tucker, she’s a stripper, that’s her job.

Tucker-“What do you mean? Look at her shake her titties at me.”

Yeah, but that’s what strippers do.

Tucker-“No. She was shaking her titties at ME. Why would she do that if she wasn’t trying to fuck me?”

That’s her job. She’s dancing for money. She clearly told you she wasn’t going to have sex with you.

Tucker-“She did not! She was all trying to fuck me, and shaking her titties.”

No, look at that sign. It says right there: “No Touching”. You can’t sleep with a girl you can’t touch.

Tucker-“She’s gonna fuck me so good.”

Can you hear me? There’s no–

Tucker (now angry)-“But she’s dancing all sexy like she’s trying to fuck me!”

TUCKER! That’s her JOB! She told you she was JUST dancing. She’s not willing or trying to sleep with you.

Tucker (crying a little)-“I think she’s trying to fuck me.”

Guys like Carlson or O’Reilly’s opinions are fine, so long as you realize it’s just that. Opinions. Not news.

Fox News claims to be presenting an equal and unrepresented position to mainstream America Media. They do not. They present feelings and emotions. The slogan “We Report, You Decide” illustrates that this IS NOT news. You can’t decide news. That’s bullshit fake media.

Fake media just like Jon Stewart’s Daily Show. A show that is 50% dick jokes. God, I love those dick jokes. At least they’re funny.

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Comments
  1. isaac landfert says:

    i wish everyone would just admit they are the choir that loves to be preached to. you watch msnbc because you already lean in their direction. you watch the daily show because you can’t stand news networks and you have a sense of humor. you watch fox news because you are a fat, balding, white dude who hates mexicans.

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