You Don’t Have To Be a Gay Rights Supporter to Oppose Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

Posted: September 23, 2010 in Politics

“I’m not saying I hate gay people. I just don’t want them to have the same rights and opportunities as humans.”

That’s the argument, right? I mean, that’s the only way I can read it. Anybody who doesn’t want a group of people to have certain rights believes that group of people is inferior, at least in regard to that right. If you say,

“I have nothing against gay people, I just don’t think they should be allowed to…”

That means you’ve got something against gay people. You believe that they are lacking in some characteristic or trait that you consider to be good, or right. You also believe that all of them lack in the same way.

And that’s bigotry.

You might not want to string them up, or drag them behind your car, but that doesn’t mean you’re okay with them. They bug you. And that’s fine. They bug me too. Watching two dudes kiss freaks me out. But so does watching two fat people kiss.

Know what that means? I don’t like fat people either. I think I’m better than them. I do. But I still think they should be able to get married if they want to. And I still think they should be able to serve in the Army IF they’re able to meet the physical requirements.

You think that because someone is gay, they are bad. I think that’s stupid, but I don’t want to change your mind. Seriously, feel however you want. What I want to change; is you pretending that you’re not being a bigot when you promote a hateful practice being instituted by our government.

There’s no logical reason to prevent a gay man from serving. People that argue gay men are too weak or too prissy to fight might be right about some gays, but not all of them. Dr. Tom Waddell is gay, and he got 6th in the Decathlon, a gay guy named Bob Paris was Mr. America and Mr. Universe.

I’m sure either one of those ‘mos could have kicked my ass.

My favorite argument is people being nervous about having gay soldiers making moves on straight ones. The idea that you wouldn’t want to be in the foxhole with some guy and have to worry that he wants to sleep with you is ignorant.

First off, this assumes that people can’t control their sexual urges, that men can’t contain themselves enough to not fuck something they find attractive, that if you put a gay guy into a straight unit, he’ll become a sex-obsessed maniac with all the hot soldier ass around.

That’s insulting, both to gay and straight men.

Gay guys love sex. Yeah, well, so does everybody. Soldiers are professionals. Let me state outright. I’m a fucking machine. I fuck all day, whenever I can. And I’m not even that picky. I’ll sleep with most anybody who’ll have me. When I’ve got a chance to get off, I do it. I’ve woken up next to ugly girls and still banged them sober in the morning. I figured, “Hey, in for a penny, in for a pound.” So I’m not some reserved or sexually pious human that thinks it’s not an issue. I’m every bit as motivated by my dick as any other man, but I’m also a grown-up, and know that there’s a time and a place for sex.

I work with many beautiful women, and I’d like to sleep with every one of them, but being around them doesn’t lure me into some weird state of Must like I’m an African Bull Elephant. I don’t need to be locked away from females to keep from forcing myself on them. The fact that I respect them as people is enough.

If somebody makes unwanted advances on a fellow soldier, that soldier should turn them away. If they persist, punch them in the face. Sexual harassment is wrong, regardless of orientation. At least you’re a dude. Probably even a dude with fists. And if some soldier can’t control his sexual outlet, and forces himself on another soldier, that makes him a rapist.


That’s the issue. And those people have no business in the Army, or in society for that matter. I trust it would be handled accordingly.

Finally, the idea that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is enough of a policy, is absurd. There’s no such thing as “enough” rights. The very fact that there is a guideline for gay soldiers illustrates that there is a distinction between them and “regular” soldiers. That’s okay, there probably always will be. Repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell isn’t going to make it “okay to be gay” in the army. It’s still the Fucking Army. Possibly the most macho institution in the world, allowing gay men to serve isn’t going change the mindset of the average enlisted man. It just means you won’t get fired if you get outed; that nobody can take away your job for something that only matters in your personal life.

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell isn’t a solution, it’s just the natural order of things. If I am in an environment that largely does not embrace my lifestyle, I’m not going to flaunt it. Besides, it’s not like the army is a haven for self-expression. Folks are mostly trying to fit in function.

When I played football I kept the fact that I was nerd secret. I didn’t want guys in the locker room to hassle me. If somebody asked I would deny it;

“Those weren’t comic books in my locker!”

“What the fuck’s a Hufflepuff?”

It wasn’t easy, just easier. Nobody wants to deal with people who don’t approve of them. At least I never had to be afraid that I’d get kicked off the team if people found out my playbook had a D & D guide in the back of it. I’m sure gay men in the military are the same way. They don’t want to be identified as gay; they just don’t want to lose their job if people find out that they are.

Keeping Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell as the official policy is institutionalized bigotry. There’s no logical reason to think it’s a good system. It’s just you not wanting to acknowledge their rights. It’s not like refusing gay people the right to serve our country is going to make them not gay. It’s just going to make it clear that you don’t approve; that you wish there weren’t gay people.

You can hate gay culture all you want. I understand that, gay culture can be annoying. I don’t want to watch Project Runway either. I don’t want to see some gay guy tell women how to be sexy. I don’t want to listen to a skinny bitchy dude with a faux-hawk lisp about how drunk he got or how fat he’s getting. But you can’t treat them differently because you don’t like them. Besides that’s not all gay guys, and its definitely not most gay soldiers.

Most of them, like everybody, just want to be left alone, and be allowed to do what everybody else does. If you’re not willing to allow that; then you’re an idiot, and an asshole, and I probably don’t like you.

But, I still think you’ve got the right to get shot for our country.

  1. Mike B says:

    Dude, you talk all “faggy.”

    (Write more please.)


  2. Jared S says:

    I’ll defer to Bill Hicks:

    “Gays in the military . . . here’s how I feel about it, alright? Anyone . . . DUMB enough . . . to want to be in the military, should be allowed in. End of fucking story. That should be the only requirement.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s